(Please note: The following is intended as a joke. Whatever you do, do not to follow any of the advice in this blog!)
When you’re a parent (especially a new one), it seems the whole world wants to offer you advice. Some of it is valuable, but some is definitely not – and some is just too ludicrous for words! Take a look below for a few ridiculous examples.
Don’t go crazy trying to make preparations before the baby arrives
Designing a nursery, having baby supplies on hand, and detailing a list of emergency contacts are for suckers. If you have natural parenting skills, you can just wing it!
You don’t need child-proof locks and gadgets
Don’t believe the rule that says “if they can reach it, they can open it.” Your baby knows not to drink cleaning fluid – they’re smarter than that!
Don’t come running every time your child cries
If you attend to every need instantly, like feeding, changing, and rooms that are on fire, your child will grow up spoiled and entitled. Let them scream a little if it’s five hours past their last bottle – it’s good for the lungs.
Feel free to make up a few examples of your own worst parenting tips, and don’t forget to spread the word. After all, with advice like this, to be forewarned is to be . . . in really big trouble when the baby arrives!