Have you ever had to provide feedback to a coworker, employee, friend, or family member? It can be difficult to figure out the best way to elegantly deliver feedback.
Positive feedback is of course much easier to share. People are more likely to enjoy hearing types of things like, “you’re so good at . . . ” than they are when you’re delivering tips for improvement.
Having difficult conversations is challenging, and can sometimes make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. It’s important to find the right time and the exact right words to use when delivering constructive feedback. Here are a few tips to getting the most out of the conversation.
- Focus on encouraging, not putting down, the person you’re talking to.
- Remain focused on the issue, not the person. Adjusting your focus can ensure your message is clear, honest, understandable, and encouraging. This can help the person to whom you’re giving the feedback receive it more gracefully.
- Make sure you deliver feedback when there’s enough time for conversation; never rush.
- Deliver feedback in a private space, ensuring there’s no one else around.
- Start your feedback with something positive. It’s important to point out what the person is doing well or an area in which they are effective. You can then follow up with the constructive feedback and look for ways they might use their strengths or skills to improve in the area in which they’re struggling.
- Choose your words carefully. Don’t use phrases like, “You did this . . . ” Accusatory words can create animosity and defensiveness. Instead say something like, “I noticed that . . . ” Think about how the words would sound to you. What would enable you to be more receptive?
- Don’t make assumptions. You might have noticed something that you feel needs improvement. Talk to the person to find out if you understand the situation correctly. There might be a reason behind the action you plan to address.
- Make sure the person feels they can trust you and that they’re in a safe space. You want to establish an environment that enables them to understand you’re providing feedback because you want to help.
- In the discussion following the feedback, be open to what the receiver has to say, and be careful to keep the conversation relaxed, professional, and appropriate. If the person gets defensive, try to understand their point of view, and then try to calm the situation and get the conversation back on track.
Constructive criticism is important; it helps people become the best versions of themselves. However, people don’t always like to hear areas in which they need to improve, so it can take a good strategy to address these moments successfully. Walk and talk with care.