Nothing sucks the joy out of everyday life like finding yourself surrounded by negativity. We’ve all seen this in action, right? The source might be taking that phone call with the family member you can’t seem to please, or the friendships built on commiserating over complaints, or the coworker that always seems to find a reason to worry about problems that haven’t come up yet.
In order to be happy, we all need to find constructive ways to shut out the noise and stay positive. If you’re searching for ways to handle negativity – or worse, mean people – read on for some tips to help you handle even the worst of the naysayers in your life.
1) Run away. You might be laughing right now, but this works. Maybe you can’t actually physically run away in the moment – from a boss, your spouse or the catch-up lunch with an old friend who’s somehow become condescending and competitive – but you CAN cut the conversation short! If you realize that you’re in the middle of a toxic interaction, you don’t have to sit there and take it all in. Politely extricate yourself from the situation. Sometimes a simple, “I’ll have to think about it and get back to you” is all it takes to end a tough conversation. Space, breathing room and distance will give you perspective and take away the sting.
2) Stay positive. If you’re stuck in a negative interaction you can’t cut short, refuse to participate in the complaining. Try to listen, and maybe even ask for clarification (to help the other person feel heard if they’re venting), but don’t invite more negativity by feeding the person with too much attention. If you’re feeling insulted and the situation is heading toward an argument, try to acknowledge the person without escalating the situation by counterattacking.
3) Stay centered. Negative people and experiences won’t so easily throw you off your game if you’re already in emotional balance. Even worse, sometimes the negativity is coming from a place we can’t avoid – our own internal dialogue and thoughts. Get a handle on internal negativity by practicing self-acceptance, forgive your own mistakes and give yourself permission to not always be perfect. You’ll feel better, and mean comments from others won’t bother you so much if you’re not worried that they might be true.
4) Be assertive, but kind. This one can be tricky! In order for this to work, you have to keep your cool. When someone says something mean, out of line, or just won’t stop complaining, try nicely (but firmly) calling the person on it. You might say something like, “Hey, that’s kind of mean. Back off, okay?” or “Yeah, it might not work. But let’s focus on finding a solution, alright?” Most people, when they realize they’re making you uncomfortable, will back off without feeling insulted.
5) Stay healthy. This just might be the most important tip on this list! Always do your best to get enough sleep, not let yourself get too hungry, exercise and spend time with kind people. Make it a priority to find time to relax and have a little fun, too. When you make time to keep your spirits high and not get run down, it will be so much easier to deal with the things that frustrate you and stay resilient.
A final word: Just remember that staying positive starts with you. It might not change the situation, but it will change your outlook and make the world a much calmer, kinder place!