Keeping up a positive outlook on life is a skill that you have to work at, just like any other. While it might come naturally to some people, most of us could use some guidance to learn the skills to better handle our subjective experiences and emotions.
You’ve probably heard this sentiment expressed a million (or more) times before: A good attitude is the key to success. Easier said than done, right? So today, we’re sharing some practical, useful advice – call it the ‘Three R’s’ anyone can learn to stay positive – even when you suffer setbacks, doubts and negative experiences.
1) Reframe — Is the problem, news or situation really as bad as you think? Challenge your gut-reaction toward negativity. Ask yourself if you can benefit somehow, or if this development frees you from a less-than desirable obligation or headache.
Another way to reframe a negative situation is to try telling yourself the story of the experience, but narrate it in a way that casts you as the hero – or just the best, most complete version of yourself – and leads to a positive outcome. When you do this, you’re brainstorming for solutions and building up your own self-confidence.
2) Release – So, you really screwed up. Or, someone did (or said) something destructive and you were on the receiving end unfairly. If you’re feeling guilty about something, or are worried about how you came across, go ahead and admit that it might have been a bad thing you did. Then, give yourself permission to have made the mistake and decide that you’re going to do better next time. Instead of dwelling and beating yourself up, just release the guilt and frustration. Trust yourself to do better in the future and just move on.
If the problem is someone else’s actions, or a situation that you couldn’t control, decide that you won’t get stuck ruminating on the past or keep trying to change it. Other ways to release include: stop trying when it’s not working; say no when you need to; cut yourself some slack; remind yourself it’s in the past.
3) Redirect — After you’ve dealt with the issue, it’s time to get your thoughts off the problem. Come up with an action plan, or brainstorm a solution that might make you feel better about what happened. But sometimes, you just can’t change the way you feel about something. In that situation, it’s perfectly acceptable to distract yourself. No kidding! Just choose a positive outlet.
Using food, alcohol, shopping, gambling, or other compulsive (read: mindless) behavior to cover your feelings is just destructive and won’t help. But you can decide to redirect your focus onto healthier, productive activities. For example, you might visit a friend (and not talk about the problem); learn a new hobby; read a book; watch a comedy; exercise; or start a new project.
Finally, we’re sharing a bonus ‘R’ for those really trying times: Break free of your rut and routine! Negativity, worry and anxiety are often the results of compulsive thinking and not enough novelty. Trying new things will help you break free and automatically do the first three R’s. Try it and see!