As with everything in our professional lives, it’s not enough to do the job of finding a mentor and calling it a day: You’ll have to work to keep the relationship going. Just having someone agree to be your mentor won’t be enough to earn all of the benefits that can result from this critical relationship.
That’s why today, we want to revisit the topic of mentoring. In recent weeks, we’ve covered Why you need a mentor and How to find a mentor. Now, we’d like to come full circle with this discussion and offer some friendly advice about how to cultivate and maintain a relationship with your new mentor. The following are some basic best practices and guidelines that you can use to lay the foundation for a good relationship with your new mentor – and really, all of your professional relationships.
Start by approaching your new mentor with respect. It’s absolutely fine to be friendly, and your interactions may progress to the point where you both feel comfortable with more informal communications. The best professional relationships will progress to a friendship if you find that you work well together and have things in common. That said, always set the opening tone for your relationship by paying the respect that your mentor has earned through his or her years of experience. Show your respect with deference and formality – it just starts you off on the right foot.
Also, in the beginning you’ll want all of your interactions to be straightforward and concise. Once you’ve found the right person, you’ll want to be clear on why you want a mentor and clearly communicate this information early on. This communication style won’t come off as impolite or aggressive. Instead, the goal is to prevent creating a situation where a new mentor feels like they have to try and guess at what you need. After your mentor has committed to working with you, take a little time at your first meeting – or just in a first discussion – to establish what your goals are and how they can help.
It doesn’t hurt for you to have professional goals for the relationship, as well. It’s okay to talk to your mentor about how often s/he can communicate and what works best for her schedule. In fact, this shows respect. Ask if you can touch base bi-weekly, or monthly, depending on the level of commitment that will work for both of you. Find out if your mentor would prefer to meet for lunch, or are more comfortable communicating with email or phone calls. Until the relationship progresses, you want to have some guidelines worked out so that you don’t drop off the person’s radar, and they don’t feel overwhelmed by your needs.
This goes without saying, but bears repeating: Be aware and respectful of everyone’s time – including anyone that your mentor has been kind enough to introduce you to. Try to ask for specific advice, or introductions. You will come across as thoughtful and professional. If you make your mentor do all the work in the relationship, you open up the chance that they will think of you as sloppy or not invested.
In addition, you’ll want to make it a habit to always follow through with communications, requests and queries, and give back where you can. It breaks trust when you cancel appointments and don’t follow through on leads. Also, be sure not to overburden your mentor with your requests. An easy way to gauge appropriate levels of engagement is to mirror the commitment level of your mentor until you establish a solid relationship.
Finally, always show gratitude for your mentor – even if you can’t use a suggestion or connection. It’s never overkill to follow up with a ‘Thank You’ note, or quick email. Be gracious as often as possible, and definitely speak positively about your mentor to others. Also, it never hurts to promote your mentor – through Linkedin, Twitter, or Google+, for example – if they’re actively engaged professionally through social media channels.
Bonus tip: As you’re searching for a mentor, don’t forget to get involved in our ever-expanding network of the best IT professionals and organizations! We invite you to send us your resume and get in touch with us on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Linkedin. We want to hear from you!