Do you want to improve your personal relationships, succeed at work, and impress the people you meet? Here’s a simple piece of advice that might change your life: Start paying attention. That’s right – it’s that easy. Show people that you care by making eye contact and really listening when they talk to you.
The advice to be more mindful is everywhere right now, because it’s good counsel to be present and in the moment. In our distracted, overworked, and over stimulated culture, you’ll do more to get the attention of everyone you meet by placing your focus on them, rather than on your smartphone or other electronic device. In fact, lots of people are starting to notice and complain about the lack of eye contact and attention in personal interactions these days.
Think about it. We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of telling a friend a story, and she looks over your shoulder at the door of the café where you’re having coffee. Or, you’re out to dinner with friends and one member of the group is texting. Another friend can’t stop checking his phone for messages. Maybe you’re the one who’s guilty of constantly checking for email from your boss, or looking at Facebook under the table. We’ve all done it, and we all know how disappointing it is when it seems like someone we’re with is too distracted to care about what we’re saying.
The solution is simple, and it will automatically impress people. When someone speaks to you, make eye contact. You don’t have to stare – which can make you seem like a creep, of course – but a genuinely interested look will communicate your interest and respect. When you do look away, keep your attention on the person by NOT checking out with a mobile media device. Easy, right?
But maybe we all know that putting the focus on the present moment this is not really as easy as it sounds. We’re all guilty of having the “fear of missing out,” but you’ll find that if you pay attention to the people in your life you will be rewarded with their trust, confidence and esteem. Sometimes people won’t even know why they’re drawn to you, but will feel good whenever they’re in your presence. When you pay attention to people, you are giving them a gift and giving yourself the opportunity to really think about what they’re saying – a practice which reduces stress.
The challenge here is to focus on your relationships by staying present and paying attention. Try it at work to make your boss feel like she can really trust you. Do it at home to improve your personal relationships with family and loved ones. Do it in social situations to make new friends automatically (and become the friend people prefer). And if you really want to get advanced and ninja on it, try unplugging from your phone and mobile media devices altogether for a break each day. You can always go back to your old habits if it doesn’t pay off. See what a difference it makes!