When a loved one is experiencing an extended bout of pain, time slows down to a crawl. The sufferer often clings desperately to the hope that relief will soon come.
Providing comfort to a loved one in severe pain often proves to be emotionally draining and exhausting for a caregiver, so it’s crucial you care for yourself, too. With that caveat in mind, here are seven ways to comfort a person experiencing agonizing pain.
Run errands. The practicalities of life don’t slow down when a loved one is ill. A person in pain may focus on a to-do list as a way to cope with suffering. If your loved one expresses concern over a particular to-do item, it may be a way to get the person’s mind off of the pain. Oddly enough, even if someone else completes the task, it provides a small measure of closure for the sufferer. For example, help the person write a letter to a friend or answer correspondence. Seniors often relate well to receiving that old-fashioned snail mail.
Empower choice. Excruciating pain taxes the mind, often leaving the patient feeling completely disempowered. No one wants to feel helpless, so build some choices into the person’s daily routine. Ask questions. ‘Would you like a hot drink or a cold one?’ … ‘Would you prefer the window open or closed?’ Help the person feel in control, even if it’s just making a seemingly insignificant choice.
Expect outbursts of anger. People who are used to taking care of themselves can be very touchy when experiencing a prolonged sense of helplessness. Anger is not uncommon in this situation. Provide your loved one with ways to feel empowered, and never take an outburst of frustration to heart.
Give a comforting touch. A gentle, loving touch relieves pain. Our skin is our body’s largest organ and is filled with sensory receptors. Oddly enough, even a robotic caress provides relief!
Create tactile experiences. Combine touch, music and fragrance to soothe a sufferer. These elements stimulate the senses and provide a welcomed escape from the pain.
Render spiritual comfort. Always remember to respect an individual’s beliefs, but also recognize we are one human family, and each one of us experiences the vicissitudes of life at one time or another. Draw upon your own experiences and share those in an encouraging way, but never saddle the sufferer with a sense of blame or condemnation.
Respect silence. Suffering in severe pain while alone is one of life’s unforgettable experiences. Even if you’re just quietly sitting in the same room with a sufferer, you are present. Never underestimate the comfort that this provides your loved one.