‘Hurry up and wait’ seems to be a common daily routine in modern living. Maybe it’s our access to high speed, mobile technology that has conditioned us to feel like most answers, communication, and gratification should be nearly instantaneous. Whatever the reason, it can feel as if getting stuck in traffic or a long line at the grocery store, waiting for a text reply, or even for the Netflix to download can all too easily turn into an endless exercise in frustration.
If that’s something you’ve experienced, too, then wait for it: There IS an answer that will make life simpler and easier, and waiting seem like less of a problem. You can increase your peace of mind and decrease your stress by cultivating the lost art of patience. Oddly enough, learning how to wait well will also make you more efficient, because you’ll be focused and relaxed.
Even better, there are some quick strategies to get into your patience zone early enough in a stressful situation that you won’t totally lose your cool! Give each of these a try, and see which works best for you to win the waiting game.
Distract yourself. That’s why people used to bring books and newspapers to the doctor’s office, remember? No, it wasn’t just to multi-task extra work, although you can whip out your smartphone and reply to emails, if you must. Or, dream up what you’ll cook for dinner, what you’ll wear to work tomorrow, or perform some other mental task that might take your attention away from the problem. For example, some people make mental to-do lists on the commute home from work, or listen to a book on tape. Daydreaming is good. That way, there’s nothing to worry about later during dinner with friends or family.
Put a timer on it. If you really don’t have time to wait around, decide how much time you have to give in advance. Knowing that there’s a deadline often decreases the stress of waiting in line, or at the doctor’s office, on hold for a telephone call, or for a friend to show up. Decide that you’ve got, say, 30 minutes to spare and that you’ll get up and leave, reschedule, and try again at some later time. You’ll feel more in control, which will make it easier to be patient.
Let go of the need to control. Does that seem to contradict the last tip? It doesn’t, if you know how to recognize when you’ve run into a situation that can’t be helped or avoided. If you must wait on hold with the DMV, or to stand in line to speak to a person in the student loan department, or get stuck in traffic (and can’t get off for a coffee at the next exit), then decide that it’s one of a handful of dreaded chores we all face that must be done – and just do it. When you give up your need to fix things, you can just be more aware and relaxed. Then use your time to look around, and notice how you’re not alone.
Avoid your triggers. Sometimes, the best way to stay patient is to side step situations that cause you to lose your temper. Is it a person that causes you to lose your cool? Sidestep them. Driving during rush hour? Schedule your commute differently. A little effort to plan ahead can go a long way to reducing your stress.
Let your impatience fuel problem solving. Sometimes you don’t need to calm down! If you’re losing your patience with people you love, at work, or in any situation where you might find a constructive solution, then use your energy to brainstorm for ways to keep the problem from happening again.
Finally, don’t forget to always find fun ways to decompress after annoying situations are over. People who are generally content, have enough fun and get good rest are generally better able to cope with short term frustrations and challenges. Take care of yourself!